Well her temper will flare because along with fatigue she'll have probably a little anxiety mixed up in there....it a coping mechanism.

All you can do, as you say, is try to keep yourself in check.

Take care on the trip.

My friend, I hope your travels to Michigan go well and that you are able to find some peace in this time of change. I remember my father dropping me and all my stuff off at my dorm. After he left I cried and cried. Perhaps your daughter's snappiness is due to a certain bravado she's been trying to attempt while she faces true independence.

Since you'll almost be halfway here why not stop in Seattle for a quick visit before heading home? :-) 

Do hang in there! My best wishes and warmest thoughts are with you.

p.s. your last 2 sentences made me chuckle...

Kathy,

Good luck and safe trip. Take care.

Chad

That wasn't a nice thing to say :-(

I have declined a number of invites to Dave & Busters. Just does not appeal. I can tell I don't like it without ever having been there.

Good luck on your trip, update if you can.

Kathy I hope this doesn't upset you and you know I don't comment much but I just feel led to say something. It bothers me that your daughter is sometimes so harsh with you.  I say something like "you talk too much and she can't stand listening to it" just makes me sad. I've shared before that I lost my step mom (the only mom I've ever known) to cancer a few years back and what I would give to hear her "nag" me just one more time. I wish you daughter could see how much you love her and just learn to embrace it. 

anyway.. I hope the trip went well. I hope this isn't too harsh I just felt the need to say so!

Laters!

Kathy,

Thanks for your comment. I hope things work out the way they're supposed to with Joe. Take care.

Chad

((((((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))) I'm so happy that you and your daughter have grown soooo very close! YAY to the Heavens!

   I know that you will miss her and that it will be an adjustment!  Jess's being an adult and needing her space has been a BIG adjustment for me!  But with time it gets easier.  And it's good that you have so many interests to keep yourself busy with!

   Best wishes in the romance department!

   Much Love always,

          Jewel

Kathy,

I'm glad you got to spend the quality time with your daughter. Now, if you can just get some quality time with a man that would be good. Take care.

Chad

Probably the first and only time a broken down car has been of benefit.

Enjoy your time with her.

With your Herclue like infection have you been using 'Ze leetle grey brain cells'?

Sundays used to be my favorite. When I was a child we dubbed the day as "family" day which meant absolutely no neighborhood kids over and we'd usually go off on an adventure as a family... Climbing the dunes on the Cape, sailing, beach outings, long bike rides on the many bike trails, Sunday "drives", airplane rides in my dad's little plane, nature walks... If you could imagine my parents doing this with all 9-10 kids along... We were a spectacle everywhere we went. This is why today my mother has 26 grandchildren and counting!!! 

I would like to continue the tradition of Sunday outings with little J and my husband... we try to, but it's not always put to plan. I'd say we manage to do it about once a month. That's better than none!

I feel sad for you when you write Lois has been distant... hopefully that will change after the beach trip she is going on has come to an end so that the awkwardness may come to an end... I see that you continue on anyway attending church and potlucks... good for you, though I sure you might forcer yourself.

It is so important to have that connection with girlfriends, so I do hope things get back to normal. Do you have any other women friends around to spend time with? Now that your daughter is headed off to college they may come in handy.

I would be thankful for the company of Joe too if I were in your situation. Although it's not "spicy" at least it's someone to spend some time with doing things you enjoy. The photo shoot of the scarecrows sounds interesting. It will be neat to see how many actually get set up. I hope you'll share your photos of them!

Have you ever been to any poetry reads? There was one going on in downtown Seattle by the marketplace a week ago or so when we went out on a Sunday outing. I like poetry and used to write, but sometimes the poetry I hear people reading floats right over my head. It's pretty however, and somewhat entertaining. I especially thought of you when I was observing all the colorful people and all the stands of fruit and flowers for sale... I think you would have a heyday photographing the area. It's much busier in the summer months than any other time.

Well, I must pull myself away from the computer... I was going to comment on your next entry but have run out of time... it's off to the wild world of motherhood! Enjoy your day.

[mixedupmama]

These internet guys sure are peculiar.

I've had Subway a time or two, I bought a cookie too. It tasted just like the sandwich.

I enjoyed the visual of plumes of steam. Very nice.

Lately I've enjoyed the idea of me in a fake mustache, usually I imagine this at my desk at work. Wouldn't it be funny if I just sat at my computer in a fake mustache like it was the most normal thing in the world. Maybe I am under socialized? These are the things I think about to amuse myself.

I feel sad that your daughter is going away.

Thanks Kathy, I'm sorry you got sick. Take care.

Chad

Kathy, I hope your cold is gone and that you're having a good week so far! I wanted to see what your facebook profile is... I'm on there and spend more time on that lately than MDD! My email is 2coloradojen@earthlink.net  you can write anytime! 

I'm sad and happy for you about your girl going off to college! College (my undergrad) was the best 4 years! I had so much fun and grew up so much. Wish I could say the same about grad school. Anyhow, my mom and I were very close when I was "away" at school and I often felt slightly homesick. I'm sure your daughter will be the same!

I am always intrigued by trailor parks. Who lives there I wonder? What do they look like inside? Often they have nice landscaping and nice cars outside which is weird. Are they as depressed and a trailor home implies? Do they live there by choice? I want to know.

I like your word, suggestible.

Sex dreams are exciting, but a little sad, too.

Not much fun for you but going to college will be a great experience for her.

Hoping some of those mentioned photos end up on here.

I've been taking the fish oil capsules just for a few days but they haven't repeated once...

What else was I going to say, dang it.

[myprincehascome]

did you take those pictures of the humming birds?

[InMyHead19]

Your photos from last entry are (as always) great.

I took a lot of photos while away (Germany and USA), I might compile my favourites and stick them up here.

Well done on going to see Hellboy II. I've quite been looking forward to it, I love the comic book and the first film so I'm hoping for great things.

You have fingerprint recognition on your laptop???

Perhaps you should have watched Mission Impossible.

Anyway I'm glad things remain ok for you.

Thanks for the comments.

Hey Kats! I'm here in Ohio with Dave Finally!! My vacation started when I drove across the border...hehe and it will end on aug 24th when I drive back across the border We're having a blast, we miss each other so much..every moment together is precious

Your pics are beautiful as always hun, I'm thrilled you share them with us Busy women you are ! the new 'freethinkers' group sounds interesting, and the jewelery making. WoW Kats thats so kwel

Enjoy life my friend, keep on doing what you're doing..you have come a long way since I've known you and you just keep getting better! *cheers*

love and big hugs

xx Lily

Thanks Kathy.............sorry I haven't called recently. I haven't been in a very good mood. Take care.

Chad

((((((((((((((((((9Kathy))))))))))))))) It's sooo good to see an entry from you and to read that you are doing good! YAY to the Heavens!

  You've come so very far my friend!

   So glad that you and your daughter have been spending so much time together..I really miss mine.

     Sorry to hear that things with Joe are not what you are looking for..I agree that the man of your life should appreciate your talent!

      I am glad that you have him to spend time with!

   Glad that you are getting over your feelings for your ex.

   Have a Blessed week!

 much Love always,

          Jewel

[Jeweliet]

Baby we ALL have a long way to go.  Glad to see you're starting to enjoy the journey! (grin)

Kathy,

Thanks for your comment. I'm glad things are going well for you. Take care.

Chad

i really liked your last paragraph of this entry. it's very positive, and for you that's really good hehe...i am glad that you have all these things to look forward to. i am also happy that your daughter is still staying with you all those days. about the laptops, if you use them, they're worth the money for sure.

i can't wait to see more pictures from your upcoming photo outings!

by the way, i am always impressed with the amount you write in your entries. you're very consistent. 

Thanks for your comment Kathy. Take care.

Chad

My favorites are the ones showing petals that have fallen off the flowers... for some reason I notice that in my every day travels and once even wrote poetry about it... As always, thanks for sharing.

My mother's art is a medley of everything! She's very creative and her art is somewhat "impressionist" rather than realistic. She does everything from watercolor and acrylic paintings, to pastels, to clay formations, and her recent joy is what she calls stained glass mosaics. I can send you the link to her web page via email if you're interested in seeing what she's created. In fact, I'll email that off to you now.

Thanks for your comment Kathy. I'm presently trying to suck my brains out through my ear using a plunger so I can put them back together......lol. Take care and hope you had a good day.

Chad

Cool pictures.very well taken. Thanks for your comment. How do you know I'm not a zombie? lol Take care.

Chad

Very, very, very beautiful.

Whoa! Beautiful pictures! I love the butterfly one, and the third one.

~Alaina~

well you said it! He's boring...sounds like My Ex! Remember Ax?  Well Ax became Ex and he lost 30 pounds! Know what? After 5 minutes in his company, thin or not, I know why I divorced him.

I wanted that spark(le) you talk about. I've got it with Teebone. Even though he goes underground now and then. I've gotten better  at focusing on my own agenda too!

http://xf1.xanga.com/d7dc475378431202712625/z157311724.jpg

Thanks Kathy...............talk to you soon.

Chad

Thanks for your advice. I can't afford my own place yet but I will someday. Take care.

Chad

Re: your comment to me, Dad is in the habit of squandering life's fortunes, as pitiful as they may be. No, he can't ever really decide where the money went, just that it's gone. It's a bad scene for my mom.

James Dean really hit the jackpot with Pete, huh. I did notice the married bit in his bio. I think if I were to have a bio, marital status would be one of the first things mentioned, so it made sense to me. I agree, there must be a million single cat ladies who would love to get a piece of him. When I bought my prints the woman at the counter asked, "So, how many cats do you have?" I said, "Huh?" I couldn't think why she would assume I had cats until I realized, oh, CAT PEOPLE. I told her, not only do I not own a cat, I don't even really care for them. That did not please her much, but it's true. Pete however is not just a cat. He is an indigo blue, caffiene addict, VW driving, world travelling, wine tasting genius.  I loved the article that explained Pete just started enjoying red wine in the last year. Hey, me too :-)

Dear Kathy,

It seems very clear from what you've written that a relationship minus the sparkle and zing and minus any obvious "other" connection, is a friendship pure and simple and for goodness sake don't "settle" for less than you want, especially when you are embarking upon a dating scene as a single woman with so many choices, (even if you don't think so)until you actually find the right person, there are plenty more people out there.... Joe sounds nice, it sounds like you have a good companion in Joe, but maybe there will be fireworks with another Mr Bloggs around the next corner.

Oh gracious...  I certainly don't know what to tell you but maybe just point blank ask Joe where he sees your relationship going? Two months seems far enough into it that it's time to be honest. Although with that comes the fear losing a nice cup of decaf coffee down the drain...

I guess I'm glad for the little fights with the husband. At least it keeps things interesting. I'd just prefer it with a little cream and sugar... lol.

(((((((((((((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))))) It's so good to see an update from you! It made me smile so big -reading about all of the good times that you've been having with your daughter! You are very blessed!

    Sorry that you aren't happy with Joe...Hoping that you find the one that you are looking for.

  Much Love and Many Good wishes!,

             Jewel

Nice entry.

Notes:

Gypsy is an interesting name, I think I like it.

Wouldn't it be cool to be born and die on the same day of the year. Like fate, nice and neat.

Smiled at "the way the cookie crumbles."

Don't give up after four years.

xx

I very much enjoyed the surreal trip I took this morning from my office chair as I followed you in your dream. Two things we share in common, dreams of big old houses- in mine I am always very excited to explore all of the rooms- and two, babies. It's not unusual for me to find an abandoned baby, often in a dirty bathroom. Anxiety sets in when someone else wants to claim it, and I never win. Oh and I always have some boyfriend I am eager to kiss, and it is never B :-( lol.

I wanted to post the prints I bought here but I can't, so, here's the link if you want to look at his work and you'll get the idea:

www.onthevergegallery.com

Enjoyed looking at your photographs, I cruised through very slowly and soaked up the naturescapes.

Haven't read this entry yet but I will.

Hi Kathy, it was good to read you.

It may be confused but it is all "go" in your life...and it makes great reading.

So your ex has two sisters with issues? Schizo and OC, does mental illness run in the family? Do you think it's nature or nurture? Just curious.

I understand your dismay with the tattoo. Every time my brother turns up he's got another one, and his wife too. It makes me sad in the pit of my stomach when I see it. I feel like he is disrespecting his body, a body that was perfect just the way it was. Ironically I really do like tattoos, maybe just not on someone I love so much.

B and I didn't kiss for a very long time.

Guitar lessons, how lovely! I don't think I would be very knacky at it; my natural feel for it is to hold it left handed. I'm right handed.

Getting a bargain on a used book is a great feeling. I have bought a dozen hardbacks at my local library for just fifty cents each.

A pen pal is a joy.

Have a good weekend.

Id love it if you'd post some of your pics here on MDD. Let us see some of what you been shooting.

I also will be able to grab Reds undivided attention soon, and get him to teach me how to do the backgrounds in photoshop. Its one skill I am having no luck at self teaching and lately Red is too busy at work to find time to teach me. So I haven't been able to finish the pic you sent me. But I haven't forgotten. I have a rough draft of the one I did, but the background just doesn't cut it all the way. It's done my way. And I want to do it right. So Red will be on Holiday the last week of July first week of August and he will finally have the time, to give me, to show me how to finish the pic. Can I show it in my diary? I will send it to you via email of course. If you would prefer I didn't put it in my diary I understand.

Anyways, I haven't been online very much either. Haven't been feeling too well the past couple of weeks either, but I'm starting to feel better now.

Good luck with the guitar lessons....take care and God Bless! Love, Alice

(((((((((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))) It's such a Blessing to see an update from you!!!!! I miss you and think of you often!

   Glad to know that you've been busy living life!

  Glad that things are so good with your daughter!

  Glad that Joe is still in your life and that you are enjoying his company!

    Sorry for those who are struggling with the symptoms of mental illness..makes me realize how very blessed I am to have found meds that work for me.

  Praying that your week will be filled with Blessings!

   Write more often!

   Love you!,

        Jewel

You have a busy life.......I couldn't handle it..lol

Chad

Hello CMU.

Guitar lessons eh?

Guitar's a doddle, depending on how 'good' you want to be.

Lost is still Lost to me.

When I eventually get my own place again I'll hire it out and have a Lost catch up few days.

Turn off the phone and just immerse myself in it.

The last thing I saw was one of the first season 3 episodes.

So some way to go.

You entry reads quite enjoyably, hope that's the case for you.

It's good to read an update from you. I'm glad that things seem to be going good for you. You seem less lonely; which is always good. Maybe you were grieving the loss of your marriage and your X. And now that time has passed, you are dealing with it better.

Thanks. Take care.

Chad

Thanks, I hope you feel better. Take care.

Chad

Just stopping by to say hello. I imagine you'll write an entry soon because as soon as I start "worrying" about you I find you update. I've only written a few piddly stupid ones because I find that all I want to do when I come on here is complain so I've taken to not writing so much.

My summer nanny job is supossed to start on Wednesday but I've heard nothing from the family as of yet... they should be returning from a vacation (they drove) and they promised to call as soon as they got settled back at home. So far there's no sign of anything from their teenage daughter whom I keep in touch with on facebook... and I know she went with them, so they're not back yet cuz she'd be online as soon as "civilization" allowed.

I had a pretty non-existant 4th celebration. I forced my husband to go buy turkey hot dogs and the buns and made up a "sort of" potato salad to serve with them. The best part about the hot dogs were the grilled onions I slathered on top. We watched the fireworks for about 2 minutes on tv and then switched over to something else, can't remember what we watched.

I look forward to your next entry, whenever that may come. Hope you're doing well and have completely recovered from that bug you had when you last wrote this entry.

[mixedupmama]

Lost.

Now there's something else I've lost track of.

I'd like to thankyou for your comment on my diary.

I've not gotten on there as much as I would like, due to travelling and just the way I've felt.

But I find that no matter how long the time gaps there are always people on here to come back to, that's a great comfort and one of the few definites in my life.

Thanks very much..................and those food descriptions still make me hungry.

I would never have the nerve to take such a long trip like your daughter. I have very defined comfort zones.

Hey, what do you say about sharing that Coca Cola cake recipe? I've never heard of something like that and it sounds very cool. I even promise to delete it in timely fashion ;-)

Thanks for the cake recipe. I didn't ask for the other one, so no worries!

[mixedupmama]

You're welcome and thank you.

Chad

I hope you feel better and I hope things work out for you with Joe. Take care.

Chad

I think when you find someone special, you wont be able to get them out of your head.....your going to know that theyre a good guy for you....

Rest up and get well soon.....God Bless! Love, Alice

A dose of vitamin C and 2 aspirin took care of the chills & scratchy throat I had... Hopefully you will be feeling better soon! I am recovering after long days of kid-filled fun and non-stop going going going. (See my latest entry).

Today I have my nephew in my care ALL day and need to clean up the kitchen after my husband, who alone for 2 days knew how to use it but not clean it... I was too tired yesterday to tackle it so I must do it today before it gets too much further out of control.

((((((((((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))))) Glad to read that you are staying busy and getting out so much.

  Joe sounds like a sweetheart!

    Praying that your weekend is FILLED with BLESSINGS!

   Love you!,

     Jewel

P.S. Your note about mom's birthday really helped!!!!

I'll stay tuned to find out.

When I returned from my honeymoon I cried for three days because I missed my mom and my home. I even told B a couple times I was "going home" and he said, "this is your home now." lol. Oh man. It was hard. Even last summer I cried when B and I were placed in separate twin beds down the shore, in the same room but separated by a dresser. I do not adjust well

Last night B said he'd bring home pizza and we could have an early dinner before going our separate ways. I said, Separate ways? I want to go whichever way you're going!

I got a little jolt when I read 34 years old with a 15 year old son. I realized my high school girlfriend is on exactly the same time line, only she is 29 and her daughter 10. It just feels like yikes to me.

Thanks for your comment. I hadn't thought to ask them about my trip. I'm going regardless. I need to get away. I'm going to snap if I don't. I need this trip and the time away. I hope the time goes slow once I get there. Unfortunately the time leading up to the trip is going slowly too, 10 more days. Ugh! At least tomorrow it will be in the single digits, it seems to go faster once that happens. Good luck with Joe and everything else in your life. I hope it all goes well for you. Take care.

Chad

Oh my goodness, Kathy, your detail about the "romance" with John was so compelling, but in a really oh-NO kind of way! Poor you, nothing worse than try-hard passion when it just isn't there. Here's hoping you can sort THAT one out quickly!

Joe sounds like a very dear kind of companion, and it sounds as though you are really warming to him. Time is working its magic. I guess there are some issues, but I don't think any relationship is totally without them. See where it goes, eh?

Nic x.

[Travellerme]

I really feel for you because I can hear how much you long for a real relationship... It reminds me of me before I met my husband... I would see so many different men and wonder if "he was the one" and worry about it the whole time I was out with the man. (Those were the days of having a personal ad.) I'd rush into sex way too soon and then realize that was the only thing they wanted... but that I wanted the good sex AND the good companionship. I even dated one man much older than me for a while and while he was the good companionship, I never felt the "sizzle" with him...

It's such a conundrum. No wonder you feel clueless.

[mixedupmama]

Good advice and thanks......Take care.

Chad

It sounds like you have a fairly busy life. There's always something going on. I wish I had more to keep me busy, but being transportationally challenged(even my bike keeps getting a flat tire)I'm at a disadvantage. Thanks for you comment. You gave me some things to think about. Take care.

Chad

By the way, I think you are right not to seal off yourself from dating other men. It's too bad that you are in another state because I would totally set you up with my friend's dad... You have some of the same interests, plus he's got a great sense of humor. But enough of me playing matchmaker...

Oh that reminds me of a song! "matchmaker matchmaker make me a match, catch me a catch!" 

We could go on and on, couldn't we??? 

[mixedupmama]

One thought: maybe Joe has some health issues that he's worried about too! Maybe he's in the same sort of situation as you. Or maybe not, but honestly, if it comes down to it in the relationship and you both really want it there will be a way!

[mixedupmama]

Wow, so much to read! You HAVE been busy.  Unfortunately J is pulling on my hands to get off the computer, so I'll have to leave a REAL comment at a later time...

[mixedupmama]

Oh honey, I have many many friends with Herpes that have NEVER passed it on to a partner.  You don't need to tell him until long after the first hand holding.  Google it, and how to tell a partner.  As long as he has no aversion to condoms he need never be exposed.  Especially if you are vigilant and take your meds accordingly.    If you are blessed enough to find another connection you can even talk to your doctor about Valtrex, which is a preventative daily med for YOU which greatly decreases outbreaks altogether....

Don't sell yourself short honey....let the relationship bloom and grow and NEVER think that this will be a deal breaker, only a slight bump in the road that means simple things, like warm showers after intimacy, and slight preparation before hand.  Believe me, you are WORTH it!

((((((((((((((((9Kathy)))))))))))))) Sounds like we are going and have been through alot of the very same things! Thank YOU for truly understanding!

    I also feel that it's even harder to back off since we've gotten closer.

   You daughter sounds VERY BRAVE! I know it must be really, really hard thinking of her driving that far alone.

  Hope that things to continue to go well with Joe!

   Much Love always,

        Jewel

I'm sorry to say, I don't have access to her diary either.


Thank you for the comment!

(((((((((((((((((((Kathy))))))))))))) A big congrats to your daughter!

   It's such a Gift to read about the closeness that you are sharing! YAY to the Heavens!

   It's also a Blessing to read about your Blessings! You sound good!

   I love you and miss you!,

         Jewel

Mmmm, I like the words to that African song... very nice.

My weekend was spent at home. Saturday I babysat my nephew. Sunday was a lazy day. And Monday well, I guess I actually got out of the apartment... I went over to my friend's house and babysat her kids so she and her husband could go appliance shopping for their kitchen remodel... Maybe it sounds crazy, but it was nice because M watched J and I got a break from J who's been trying my patience to no end. It's different watching someone else's kids. When I got home we went out as a family to mexican food as a treat! It was a nice ending to a 3 day weekend.

Suppose I should update my diary soon... I like to do it when no one's home and J is napping. Tomorrow I'm off to my mom's for the day and to my second-to-last pottery class... I'll miss that class when it's over-- but all this is a whole entry in itself, so I'll save it for that savory moment when I have time to myself...

[mixedupmama]

Yeah, I know I have to make my own life, sometimes it's just easier to bitch about it.

Chad

There is nothing more perfect than nature. Flowers are so beautifully intricate with detail, its nature at its finest Thank you for sharing Kats! I so love to look at the pics you take

Hope all is well, things are moving along as normal here. Very busy at the pub, seems that summer is on its way. I'm on the countdown for the end of July when I can go and see my man!! I miss him so much

Take care Kats, just keep looking on the brighter side of life

Love you lots!

Lily